Laager site overlooking new dam, 40 baht beer and sandwiches courtesy of birthday boy Cobbler so great start to the run.  GM’s daughter, Gremlin now 13 years old so joining the runners.  GM offered free beer to anyone who caught her and Blue Harlot looked set to rise to the challenge!  Hares in and virgin hare introduced (he was just about sober at this point). Walk was short and flat with the runners being subjected to a few hills so all going well up to this point.  Circle opened with Thai Connection being praised for being powerful enough to stop the rain for the hash.  Birthday cake for Cobbler handed round but ankle biters swarmed in and took the lion’s share.  Louis the Lip was 1st steward and after a couple of jokes there were cries of “bring back Rosie”.  He called in Virgin Pussy and her poodle which she had dyed pink despite the dog being male.  Gazette April fool joke re micro-chips for foreigners with retirees being first.  Gorgeous in for having run around the dam before the run – what stamina!  Rommel in for confusing mozzy spray with sun block.  Once Weekly in and thanked for short scribe notes.  He boasted he was in the lead twice on the run so got 2 beers for being big headed.  Born Loser in with great pick up line.  Girl says “I am on my menstrual cycle”, “No problem”, says Born Loser, “I’ll follow you on my Scooter”.  Two eggs joke caused a collective cringe.  Lost Buffalo and Houston Basher to prove that the phrase “hashing promotes physical fitness” is all hogwash.  Husband has new computer password “Penis”.  Wife tries to use it but got error message “too short”.  Only Jiggly thought this was funny, wonder why?  There then followed a Documentary on the merits of crossing borders into various countries with UK coming out the most welcoming – well, there’s a surprise! 

GM then wanted to cheer up Thai people who were feeling sad about Japan and Thailand flooding so she suggested celebrating Songkran next Saturday with a clean up of Bang Wat dam – don’t you feel better already?  Swollon suggested people bring unwanted clothes to donate to flood victims.  Scud then subjected the visitors, visiting hashers and virgins to the usual warm Phuket welcome.  The only virgin was also the virgin hare and by this time he was struggling to stand upright but still had to kneel down and try and drink beer from the ground.  His drinking coach, Dambuster, had to assist. Rommel  200 runs & Madame Disparu 50 runs but no t-shirts.  Lost Buffalo in for having a gay, pink dog and had to take one beer for each leg.  Lost Buffalo also worried about his weight so he joined a gym but only goes to sign his name.  Doctor said he only needed to do one simple exercise – move his neck from side to side and he would lose weight.  How?  When you are in a restaurant and the waiter asks if you want anything, you just shake your neck from side to side!  Jiggly quipped he would have to find his neck first.

Virgin Hare showed GM how to walk like a robot but he was having difficulty given his increasing beer intake.  Bootilicious was next steward but was suffering from a hangover after a mammoth 6-hour booze up.  Dambuster moving to another place to be near two sexy sisters.  GM & Thai Connection in gym at the same time with Thai Connection checking her out.  Pygmies in for braving the rain and selling beer.  Booti called in Cheap Potato (oops .. Sweet Potato) who was dressed up as she had forgotten hash clothes so she was iced.  That’s one way to ruin a good dress.  Guy picks up a girl in Patong and the girl keeps playing with his round spherical objects.  Why you play with my balls, says the guy.  The reply “Because I miss mine”.  Cobbler & Thai som tam ladies in.  He had to check for crack in belly of Twice Nightly, drink a can of beer and birds nest concoction.  Not going to make his next birthday at this rate.  GM announced Run Offences.  Key Hole and Gremlin in with new shoes and GM made Key Hole drink from his own and Gremlin’s shoes.  Blue Harlot called in Drop Bear, she said she had no intention of running as she was on vacation.  Klong said that after 25 years he would rather be drinking.  JC asked to describe himself in one word – “I am not good at following instructions.”  Jungle Balls called in Barbara Woodhouse who was doing a very good impression of Mikhail Gorbachev after having smashed in his forehead.  Drop Bear in as visiting GM.  She called in various hashers for offences.  SADG – he didn’t run.  Born Loser – sitting down.  Singha Gold – singing.  Gorgeous – showering and pampering.  Murkury – huge water bottle shower.  French in for not paying attention with Big Fella being iced.  She did a great spot and was then iced for her troubles.  Singha Gold got Barbara Woodhouse back in for continually screaming for his dog on the run.  Jiggly sin binned.  Scud short cutting and nagged by Jungle Balls.  Hasher’s phone ringing so he was sin binned.  GM answered his phone and explained that the owner of the phone was sitting in a bucket of ice, naked.  Unfortunately, it turned out to be his boss!  SADG got Thai Connection & Som Tam ladies in for forming their own circle.  GM called the Hares back in but the virgin hare was so drunk he was having trouble focussing.  Thanks were given for a great run, 40 baht beers and sandwiches.  Run Master in to a shout of Good Run.