Scribe Report: No 1301:  12 February 2011:  Hares (Snails) Useless & Apeman

Total Pack: 86   Virgins: 2  Visitors: 7

Greeting's hashers to run 1301 Miss directions very good as the web was down, but for the bus and reading last week’s scribe report ,,,,,,,,, then ok ,,,,,, but we all got there, and when we did what a shit site for a Laager, dirt highway flanked by pools of stagnant water much to the delight of Anton [ Wilma’s son]  Dick [Rat eating] Gobbler and in a lesser case Jiggly Jugs.  Snails explained the run took them 2 hrs 40 mins to lay paper, the walk would be an hour and the run at least an hr /hr 10 ... So off we set, Hash Horn being ''Susie Klong'' [ What did U say Blue Harlot ?] after about 3 mins into walk/ run paper went left for about 300 mts then right for 200 mts, then right again for 300 mts ,,,, Blubber and Funking Prince Charles look alike would have been in their element, as this seemed to be the pattern for much of the walk / run.  They would have finished before they started OR run up their own arses which most of us would like to happen.  Then there was Nugget doing her aerobics as anybody who  passed her found her clenched Fist springing out whichever side she was being passed ON ON.  And oh yes, Jungle Balls saying in rather a Gay tone ''let me pass I'm the ''Hash Flash'' take note T Tom.  So 1st walkers in 42/45 mins, last lady/man 50.32 mins, BUT for a German male and his daughter, just before lights out did they arrive – can’t remember his hash name but I reckon his daughter has a new one for him Ha Ha He He.  1st runner in is Barf Wader in approx 55 mins closely followed on her heels by Wilma [take note froggy] and the rest of the runners follow in. Houston Basher was not moaning about the walk which was a SHOCK to us all. Wash down [separately] and Prune, that's  comb hair if you have any awaiting call from G.M. for the circle ,,, Oh my Budda G. M. in LITTLE short number [no kids NO husband!] shows off her ample Bum - which is covered by cycle shorts , get breath back,,,and after  a smack around the head by my Philippino tart, circle starts with details of committee meeting Friday night @ Little Ex Pat to discuss 25 Anniversary hash ............Just a free piss UP  i  think ....1st steward Dick [rat eating] Gobbler gets 4 different nationals in with 4 ladies [tongue in Cheek] lots of back riding /eating chocolate / kissing/eating bananas ...Ugh ...1st time Ting Tong has been on back of her man I'm thinking. G. M. clears circle after Dick [rat eater] Gobbler's mess ie dead Rat /Jiggly Jug's sock /banana skins / chocolate wrappers. Barf Wader in [impedimenta] for not wearing a hash shirt, says sorry I have put that much weight on can’t find one to fit,,,,,, wear one of Froggie's silly Moo.  Jungle Balls gets Murkury in and then proceeds to embarrass Clitmas Pussy [Blue Harlot says get on with it under his breath] by classing her in the same bracket as Murkury by being a bald cut. Twice Nightly in for being Twice Nightly ,,, but then she goes on to tell us that her man has something Stiff for a change.  @ this point Swollen Colon slips away with a young lady.  Last but not least [car drives through Laager followed by another motor Bike]. Blue Harlot did a good session of jokes. That good that I can’t remember any of them but that may be due to the Philippino connection talking louder than the funking French for a change . G.M. calls in runmaster ---- Good run Good run --- Bollocks says Big Bollocks .... Circle closes quickly as Gorgeous is trying to give away his smoked salmon sandwiches.

ON  ON
Barbara Woodhouse