Our fearless leader opened the circle with a strung together set of words about us not having a scribe and if anyone didn't step forward then he's simply appoint someone, and with nary a second of pause turned to Fungus and said "Right, you're our scribe today."  Fungus could just hear GM mumbling some words that contained 'Tinmen run' and 'revenge'.  Well at least I got a chair for my weary butt and an umbrella to fend off the sporadic rain drops.

GM started off by recalling to all that former Tinmen GM and Hash member Cardinal Finger had passed away and although short in stature he'd always stand tall in our memory, then asked for a minute silence in remembrance.  OnON, He's True Blue...

Hare in the circle. GM reminded all that it's a good practice to have at least two hares for safety just in case bad fortune makes an unscheduled visit while in the deep jungle somewhere.  MP's response was "well, more beers for me."  Anyway, anyone haring should keep in mind GM's advice.

Announcements: 1.) Since Not Cleaver & Pole Position were away GM announced that the Pooying, which had been rescheduled to April 6th would be canceled as many hashers would be away to attend the funeral of Cardinal Finger.  2.) Clitmas Pussy came in to announce that beginning next week she'd be collecting payments for the Hash Ball to be held on June 6th.  Ticket prices vary with AGPU points so please check the website to see what you'll be paying. 3.) Iron Pussy on April 9th, check the website for details.

Returners In.  Gremlin (played by Mini Mouse), Piglick 1 & 2, Bobby Sucks, Casino, JB, Clitmas Pussy and a few others queried by GM on where they'd been then given their deserved DDs while the circle beat out "They're true blue...".

Virgins In.  In came 2 or 3 of the pro boxers training under Kaiser Bill giving names like Faisel and Sheiffel, but since they're boxers we deemed correct pronunciation and spelling as irrelevant. All were warmly welcomed and properly Down Downed.

Visiting Hasher Minstrel Man presented GM with a T-shirt, which sent the GM into ecstasy because it had a turtle on it and immediately inspired the circle to sound out several rounds of the chorus "He's our leader..." including about 3 new verses.  Well, a lot of poking fun at the GM, but let's face it, he's an easy target to poke at.

He's shorter than Charles Dickens; his dog likes killing chickens.  He's our leader , he's a Turtle Head.

His dog's got a sore bum; it's full of turtle cum.  He's ...

He cannot get a boner; that's why he is a loner.  He's ...

New Member Fon called in and welcomed, but no Hash name given, well, we'll get there, just be patient and screw up to help us find the best name!

Run Offenses  Billy Boy rushed in to get GM on the ice over not being able to control his 2 kg dog, the Mighty Tiger.  Apparently the GM's rule that all dogs must be on a leash was technically being followed by Tiger, except there was no human on the handle end.  Tiger decided to visit the local resident's chicken flock and pick one out for sport.  Arguments between GM, Billy Boy and a few others made it difficult to know if the intent of Tiger was to kill or just maim although it does seem reasonable to recall GM's words that the chicken was still alive when finally pried from Tiger's jaws.  (Keep in mind the chicken was bigger than the dog.)  All was settled when Murkury apologized to the chicken's owner who said it was OK and she'd nurse the chicken back to health.  At least a limping chicken will be easier to catch before killing it to eat.

Mini Mouse called in Piglick with some clever words about having two girls so obviously not licking enough of the time, or licking too much, or something.  MM then called in the young strapping virgins, the boxers, pointing out to everyone that these guys are fit as hell but came in way back in the pack, could it be they stopped along the trail somewhere to get laid maybe?

MP called in the Registrars to give them shite about their complaining that MP didn't provide updated run stats for them when it turns out they hadn't sent the previous week's registration sheets to MP for compiling.  Well, what can you expect from the French!  Sir Bollox jumped in a couple of verses of "Oue a le papier...".

No Hope got MP in for suffering Post Traumatic Tinmen Flashes, as evidenced by the trail he laid for today.  Some said the only difference between today's run and the Tinmen last Wed was the Tinmen was twice as long.

Bullet Rash got in Houdini, Chastity Belt, Gorgeous, Barbara Woodhouse with a fair comment about each for falling off trails, blowing the horn and calling "how you" and other such things to everyone's amusement around them along the trail.

GM called in Piglick using a proxy run offense from Big Bollox to put her on the ice, not for any reason other than she needs to sit on the ice.  Down Downs to all.

First Steward, Fungus called in and scribe temporarily assigned to Gay Ray.  Fungus called in Mini Mouse and described her oh-so-clever way of applying makeup, ensuring Décolletage then making an approach while eye-batting and sweetly saying "say yes".  Well, Fungus had said "yes" and MM abruptly turned away saying "you're first steward next week."

Fungus said he wanted to straighten out the rumors being passed around about last week's Tinmen run.  That the hares (Fungus, Scud, Slow Cunt & Gay Cowboy) had lost the beer truck, lost the bus, lost all the front runners who shot by the unmarked laager site, that Ejaculator had passed out 1 im before reaching the water stop and Big Bollox blowing out his knees and feet one km after the water stop were in fact not rumors at all.  They were true!!

Fungus got in 3 Thais to represent the leaders of a massive protest rally in Bangkok that were pictured carrying a leading banner now seen around the world with huge letters in English saying REFORM BEFORE ERECTION.  Wise words and something we should all think about.

Chicken George called in to have his memory jogged about when he took his son for his first pint. CG recalls that it was Fosters and the son didn't like it, so CG drank it.  Then it was Carling Black, then 1664 Lager, then Premium Dry and a whiskey.  CG recalls that his son didn't like any and by the time CG had drunk them all he was too bloody drunk to push the pram back home.

Several couples called in for He Said, She Said. Houdini Said: should we try swapping positions tonight?  Chastity Belt: Good idea.  You stand by the stove and sink while I sit on the sofa and pass wind.  MP asks his girlfriend lookalike MM why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking.  MM replies: because they already have boyfriends.  Barbara Woodhouse asks: Why are married women so much heavier than single women? Secret Banana Gobbler replied: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.  Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

JC called in to reflect on his having overheard a conversation between two young men in a bar.  One saying "you look exhausted", and his buddy saying "Dude, I'm shot.  My girlfriend want's sex 3 times a night, I just don't know what to do".  JC turned to him and said "Marry her.  That'll put a stop to that shit"!!

Fungus did a fine finish by inviting Barbie Dall in for the great Wild Rose song, upgraded and up temped to an American variant of Yippie-I-O, Gost Riders in the Sky.  Six rounds latger and we were all thanking the singer and steward with proper DD's.

GM warned Fungus to coordinate with him if music was to be incorporated into a steward spot as the next person in was our Hash Music Sir Bollox for a review to our PH3 anthem having the chorus: We're the runners that you cannot catch; We drink like you've never seen.  We sing like fine tuned arseholes, We are the Phuket Hash House Team.  Fantastic Steward Spot Fungus.

Second Steward, Houdini called in Kaiser Bill, unnamed hasher Rafik and the 3 virgin boxers to give a demonstration on kick boxing.  Houdini then called in Moon Walker and placed a plastic bottle on her head for Rafik to kick off.  The groaning circle rightfully wanted the bottle put on Houdini's head.  MM came in and solved the scene by holding the bottle for Rafik to kick out, which he did, directly into the camera and face of 15 Gets You 20.  But since Rafik hit MM's hand she had him hold the bottle while she kicked it out.  Then she had Rafik kick the bottle a second time and he promptly drove it straight at the scribe.  Well done Houdini, a confused circle and 3 injured people.  Houdini next ripped out some one liners like "My girlfriend thinks I'm stalking her, well she's not exactly my girlfriend", and "I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said 'that's the biggest penis I've ever held' and I told her, 'you're pulling my leg'".  About this time GM put the long hook out and jerked Houdini out of the circle.  MM immediately came in and gave everyone her thoughts on being a steward and reminded them that it could be them in next week!!  Anyway, good spot Houdini and a well-deserved DD.

Chicken George iced for his incessant chatter.  No Hope called in Barbie Doll who but a pair of thong bikini underwear over his face and spreading his arms wide sang "Thanks for the memories".

Departers In   Oops, final run offense: JB got in Chicken George and GM saying CG is not the only chicken departing today, which brought some more news on the dying and maimed chicken and the Mighty Tiger.  Departers In: CG and Gay Cowboy.  DDs served and FOYC sung.

Hares In  Well it was pointed out that a conflict of duty disallowed JC to be runmaster while currently holding the Hash Shit award.  Billy Boy stepped to the plate and called for anyone wanting to call Hash Shit. Total silence held before an overwhelming cry of Good Run, Good Run arose from the circle.  Good Run it was. Circle Closed.