Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1457                    Saturday 25 January 2014

Hares: Doctor Fucking Jeckyll & Lesser Dipshit
Total Pack 152:  PH3 130,  Virgins 8,  Visitors 8, Visiting Hashers 1,  New Members 5.

Thanks to Uncle Blue Harlot for helping out of my drunken stupour  last week. I'm back in full swing (sort off). Our Leader kicked off the circle by getting in Fork By Ass and her new husband who were newly married only last week. Her husband was NAMED...Crack Of Dawn. Congrats and welcome.

RETURNERS in... 16 in all but only 9 came in for a welcome drink, so bollocks to the rest!

VIRGINS in... Frogs and some from the frozen north (just above the US). Well and truly wetted!

VISITORS in... Only one, Road Runner from Bahrain.

RUN OFFENSES... GM got Punt and Tequila Slapper in as Punt carried TS over the lake as we came back to the laager but only succeeded in dropping her! Our Leader then called in Flying Dickhead 'cos he was pointing in every direction, other than the correct one, confusing just about everyone! Billy Boy up next and got in JC. BB remembered a Pooying Run that JC had hared some years ago and had set the Run to come in through the lake, as today. BB said the water was up to his waist but JC said it should have been past his neck, the tide must be out says JC! No Hope called in Twice Nightly (thank you NH!) and said he is pissed off with her as every time she runs past him she shouts ‘no hope, no hope’, ‘I know, I know’ says a disappointed No Hope! Bullet Rash calls in the little beauty Jessica as she asked how deep is the water? ‘Cos her dad had said there were little fish in there and she was afraid the fish would disappear inside her - somewhere!  Only her second run but she was NAMED...Piranha Pussy! Ice Box next up and calls in On The Floor and Hands On. OTF asked on the Run (about half way) ‘how far to go now’ and looked for the shortest route back - lazy bitch! I took a break from my note taking to call in Reverend Finger Licker. I proved beyond any doubt( in a dubious accent) that The Rev is definitely not hung like a grave digger!

1st STEWARD... Swollen Colon, Hares in, Lesser Dipshit had taken some time to lay the paper and had missed the gym, same as the last 26 years! Dr Fucking Jeckyll had seen a young girl in the woods and she had fallen at his feet , so he fucked her, saying his taser gun works a treat! Jungle Balls and Christmas Pussy in and SC tells us of JB's first few trips to Phuket, when he had paid 500 Baht for a girl. Years later when they came here together, CP went shopping, so JB went shopping too but for a quickie! He asked at a bar and the girls said 3000! Fuck off I’m only paying 500 and no more. A while later JB and CP was walking past that very same bar when the girl came running out and shouted ‘see what you get for 500 Baht!’ The beer CP was holding went over SC's head, quite right too! Twice Nightly and Once Weekly in, as OW's mate said to him you should keep your curtains closed, as last night the whole road saw you fucking TN, ‘but I was not there last night’ says OW! TN says when OW fucks her he is sweaty, then the next time dry and cold, then the next time sweaty again, SC says that's cos he only fucks you in June and then only in December! JC and Paper in, they were on a boat the other day and JC says, with beer in hand ‘you know without you I would not of made it through the last few years’. Paper says ‘ thank you , how romantic’. ‘Fuck off, I'm talking to the beer’ says JC! Fungus in, as he had told SC that the computer was taking over and the world was becoming paper less. Oh is it? show me how you wipe your ass with a lap top! Great spot Swollen, thanks.

RUN SHIRTS... Punt had his 100 Run Shirt, well done. Not So Swollen (Swollen Colon's little girl) was awarded her specially adapted VIRGIN HARE shirt. Well done to our ONLY Real Virgin Hare!



2nd STEWARD... Jungle Balls.  Hares in for confusing JB so badly he went up a falsie they didn’t even lay … twice!   Revenge time for Swollen Colon, he and Not So Swollen had exchanged xmas presents for the first time.  He’d bought her a dictionary.  ‘Why did you buy me this daddy?’ ‘Because you’re stupid’.  NSS had bought  SC a vibrator.  ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re a cunt’!.    Once Weekly and Twice Nightly in,  JB & CP had been laughing the other week when Minnie Mouse referred to ON as ‘Once Wiggly’,  “ah’ says TN in response, 'sometimes he’s Once Quickly’.  Ice Box and her hubby in, hubby is a new member today and was duly named ‘Frigid Digit’ – explain that one to the kids!    Aussies in for Australia Day.  JB explains to the circle what Australia Day is about.  It celebrates the BRITISH fleet arriving in Sydney Harbour, raising the BRITISH flag and singing the BRITISH National Anthem, a rousing chorus of ‘God Save the Queen King’ from the circle.  3 days later the French arrive, so if it hadn’t been for those 3 days all you Aussies would be speaking French and would probably have surrendered to the Aborigines by now.   Four couples in for a Russian wedding game – it involved bursting balloons – look at the photos.  Our newly wedded Fork My Ass & Crack of Dawn,  Ice Box & Frigid Digit,  On the Floor & Punt, and Butt Swallower and Hill Bitch.  If they weren’t in a relationship before, they are now!  Good spot JB!

DEPARTERS in...Only three F O Y C's.

HARES in...The Run Master asked for shit Run but was answered with silence....Good Run was called. The GM closed the circle.

On  On, Not Cleaver
See you all next week.